so we all know and love the higher, most importantly "histrionics". but has anyone ever figured out what this word means? i've always thought about it and for lack of a reason i never looked it up. i assumed it had something to do with the past. no it means: dramatic representation; theatricals; acting. as in "Cut out the histrionics—we know you're not really mad". i'm just doing my part to better your vocabulary since mine is about as big as a 3rd grader. and 3rd grade is pretty much where my development stopped. i mean not physically, clearly, but everything else.
the other day ashleigh told me that this "teenage" phase i am going through right now is annoying. but she is more annoying because i'm trying to listen to good music right now and she is singing rounds of "All-Star" by the Barenaked Ladies. so i'd rather not be psychoanalyzed by someone who still sings that song after ten years.
i'm not ready for tomorrow.
i decided that if anyone asks me to do something from now on i'm just going to do it. i've been a recluse locked up in my 3rd floor apartment for too long. this whole ideology won't last more than a week, but we can pretend.
i just watched LOST and i'm lost. but sawyer looked mighty fine the whole time. i still have a paper to write before friday and my little's birthday is tomorrow so i can't write it then. i'm so over school. i was unfortunately on the phone with my mom earlier and she said
"what are you doing this weekend"
i say "going out"
she says "going where?"
i say "out"
she says something along the lines of "you go out too much, your grades are dropping"
i say "that's not the reason my grades are dropping"
and then i explained that last semester i got two c's because my life is a total shamble. i only have to survive this semester and next semester and i just have to keep my grades above a 3.0 so i don't get kicked out of the school of ed. so that's prob not going to happen. i was talking to my friend about how we're going to drop out of school and get emergency certified in nevada. life would be so much easier. everyone thinks getting a ed degree is easy. i mean i'm sure it's one of the easier routes to take compared to being a doctor or something. but it's hard for the average person. i'm basically a history major plus my ed classes, which aren't bad, just busy work. like for my tech ed class we have to make a powerpoint with 50 slides. but they have to be interactive. what student is going to want to do a 50 slide interactive powerpoint? none.
for some reason "happy birthday" by the click five keeps coming on my shuffle.
oh i went to a fashion show today for the business school. marissa gave me a shirt that she bought for some reason in a size large but it's awk and too big on me but i'll prob wear it anyway since i'm sans clothing right now. that should all change soon. oh and i'm dying my hair again. i don't know when, but maybe when i go to maryland in may. for my birthday since apparently ash is staying in pittsburgh this summer too...
why is life so unnecessiarly complicated. why can't i complicate my life with interesting drama instead of family and school shit. life is so much more colorful when you have problems. don't deny. i can't decide if i should skip class tomorrow. but this will be like the 4th class i've skipped and i don't want him to notice. he's such a nice guy, kinicky. (he carries a comb in his back pocket). he's a liberal, if that helps.
"u and left turns"
this is how i hear it
"i open my mouth but nothing comes out. you're the only topic i don't talk about. your eyes so brown i can see myself in them. swimming in your gorgeous pupils. it's kind of like the way i wish we'd walk around. i'd buy you every diamond in the whole damn town. don't you want the diamonds baby? take me where the lights are low there's something that i'd love to show you. cause i'm juts like a tree. i'll grow roots underneath you. this ground used to be nothing but soil. remember when i told you everything was lovely? i lied. i was only confused. and right now i'm just dying slowly. "
i am so guilty but you are so pretty. real bad is what i've got and i'm at the bottom, you're at the top. your lips are a sunset that sets over me. and only me.