Monday, March 2, 2009

it's the type of love that hurts to breathe in.

I just finished reading The Kite Runner and I think it changed my life, for the moment at least. I started reading it sophomore year after I got it for Christmas and finished about 2/3 of the book. And yesterday I just picked it up and I finished it today. I was "Haunting" like one of the reviewers said. I think everyone should read it but it's just like Memoirs of a Geisha, amazing in that sort of "absence makes the heart grow fonder" type of way. It's always in the back of your mind but you never really think about it. And when you finish it, it's like you finished a chapter in your life. An extremely long, boring chapter that you couldn't wait for to be over. But anyway, I'm a baby and I cried.
It's so much better than New Moon. I still can't decide if I like Edward or Jacob better. Edward is just... I'm not sure and so is Jacob. The plot of that book was just absolutely horrible and it took me so long to read. My biggest pet peeve of books is the whole fake-out thing. Don't make it seem like Bella is going to die when I'm half way into the second book and I'm quite aware that there are two more books where she remains the main character. Who knows. I know that whole thing sort of made the rest of the book happen, but still. Bella is possibly the most annoying character ever written.
Ok well you don't really want to know my opinion on books.
I'm taking Ashleigh to Maryland next weekend. Leaving Friday night and coming home Sunday morning. It's sort of depressing how I refer to Pittsburgh as "home" since I called Maryland my home for about 11 years. I guess there is just nothing there anymore. And I'll be here all summer anyway and then next year. And in wonderful hopes, I will be teaching in Pittsburgh. That's not going to happen but I vow not to teach at either Leonardtown or Great Mills. But the thought of living in that county for the rest of my life is scary.
I just decided that I'm going to go as long as possible without showering. I say this a lot but since I have the whole week off, I figure it's going to be ok.
I'll never understand my resistance to people going in my room. Just the thought of having anyone but myself in there is unnerving. I can't take it.
I was thinking while I stood looking out the window for the past hour that everyone holds their secrets in different ways. I have been disappointed so many times in my life I've just stopped telling people anything so I don't get my hopes up. Some people just have to tell everyone everything in order to deal with things. I've always been a fan of repression. It just makes more sense. It probably won't help you to get over things.
And then sometimes your secret facade just falls apart. Sometimes it unfolds on the 5 o'clock news for everyone to see. I never thought life actually happened that way.

I'm like massively into The Shins right now.
so that's what I'm listening to.

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