Tuesday, January 26, 2010

blah blah blah.

well, we all know that i'm the biggest hypocrite in the world...
but i feel if you are in a certain position you should be held to higher standards. and standards that actually make sense. i know i never make sense so i should stop talking. but still.

i call my mom after school every day and tell her how much i hate it. not that i hate it just certain things about it. and when i say certain things i mean almost everything.

by the way, someone really needs to remind me to pay my library fine because there are so many cds that i want and i can't get them until i pay that effing fine. it was over 30 dollars (i know, i know) and i paid that but now i lost a book and i have to pay for it so that's going to be like 20 bucks. oh my life. and i have two parking tickets to pay for and so many sweater vests i want to buy at old navy. i'm not sure which i'm going to take care of... oh wait, i do. i know i need to get my life straight, but i figure i might as well make mistakes while my parents can still give me money. i'm totally kidding.

ok i'm really not sure if i'm allowed to write about students or not, but there is this one that makes me laugh so much every day. and not because he's "funny" either. he just sits in the back and talks to himself the whole time and mutters strange things under his breath. only i would find this funny but i have to fight the urge to laugh every day. he'll be like "fuck this shit i don't know where that is" or "you're so stupid" "i know what you're talking about" or "she almost fell". that last one literally killed me and i had to turn around and face the wall and laugh for a minute. now in the event that i actually ever get a chance to teach, i'm probably going to hate him. i guess for the time being though, i love him.

and what i've been meaning to vent about but i feel like i can't do the horribleness justice is:
the fact that some people still think we're in high school. i mean, technically i am, but that doesn't mean i want to act like one. i know that i talk about people and i can't go five minutes without complaining about someone but i don't think i'm an actual bitch. maybe i am, but i'm pretty sure i'm not. it's not my fault you're a failure so don't take it out on me. you made your bed and now you have to lay in it, you know? just get over the fact that no one likes you and you're ugly and your mom picks out your clothes (sorry, cockrell quote). like literally, don't try to make me jealous of your inane daydreams and the manifestations you create in your psychotic mind when i actually had a tangible reality. i'm not saying my reality was something to be jealous of, but it was better than yours.

ok anyway, it's not my fault certain things happen. last time i checked i was not God, so don't blame me. i know i'm paranoid but i'm not a scapegoat for your problems. and you must read this and think that i think the world is against me, but i don't. only certain people and my life just sucks. i don't know, if you haven't realized yet that the world sucks then there is something wrong with you. i guess maybe there are three types of people:
ones that think the world sucks and can't grasp that
ones that know the world sucks and deal with it
and then those lucky people that are optimistic
i'm sure there are subcategories and people can fit into different labels at different times but in general, this is how i see people.

there are only 54 days of hell left, then i can change my blog name.
i'm not sure if you knew i had this. i got it sophomore year after reading it on Rupert Grint's shirt. i scoured the internet and found it at some book store in London so i sent for it asap. i like to keep it up mostly because it's pretty and also cause it's true. it's propaganda from WWII in Britain. beautiful, i know.

anyway, some people need to learn this.

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