i think that i just need to come to the realization that holden doesn't exist and i'll never be sally hayes. holden is never going to pick me up to see a show and i'll never walk down a staircase with him waiting for me. i'm not going to be that girl that he played chess with over the summers and he wants to know if i keep all of my kings in the back row.
but it's weird now that the roles are reversed, i wonder if certain people felt this way. i'm upset is all i have to say. but whatever.
i did my first lesson on friday. i bombed it.
i'm not going to be a teacher.
i suck at it.