Thursday, July 1, 2010

i just can't hold it together.

I think today I realized that I am the messiest, most unorganized and most unreliable person ever. I like to pride myself on being fairly mature, but I just realized that I forget to pay rent almost every month, I don't pay for much on my own, I can't keep track of my bank account, I lose EVERYTHING, i forget EVERYTHING, I constantly have library fines and I'm not even together enough to run a cash register (I am, however, we just hate certain people). I want to get my own apartment, but I will get kicked out. I just made a list of things that I've been putting off since September that need to get done ASAP. Will I ever get them done? Most likely not. I can't even keep my room clean for more than a day. I wish I could be anal though. Those people have it together. I'm starting to take everything off the walls of my room since I have to be out of here on the 27th. It's July already...how/when did that happen. This summer where I was supposed to figure everything out is quickly approaching and end and I am no closer to my certification or finding a decent job. Not that the "job" I have isn't decent...it's just that I could use a little more than 5 hours a week.

I think I'm just going to tell my friend that we're sitting at her Aunt's pool until I'm a black person.

In good news, I ran 6 laps today. Granted everyone else that was running lapped me, I still made it a mile and a half. I'm listening to Duffy at the moment, she calms my nerves.
And I also downloaded West Side Story just so I could get the satisfaction of watching the end. It's sort of like symbolism or something, in a really weird way.

But for the rest of the summer, I'm going to get over the fact that I hate my "job" and that I am not going to find something I like doing. I'm going to get my life organized and study every day so it only takes me two or three times to pass the Praxis so I can sub next year at some point...

I'm getting started on that...tomorrow. I'm paying my parking ticket and my library fine. At least the library fine. I'm actually sort of terrified of paying the parking ticket just because I have no idea what is going to happen with that...

Also, I'm really upset that I can't go back to my original blog background. I'm not sure what is up with that.

4 comments:

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