Monday, May 2, 2011

we're one mistake from being together

"I put on my rouge and wash my hands in front of the whole world"
- Marie Antoinette

This one time, I had to pick a topic to write a paper and do a presentation on for my Global Geography class. Of course I had no idea that we were A.) doing this project or B.) the topic was due this one particular day of class. So I'm sitting frantic trying to think of a topic to do. I was under the naive impression that I could pick whatever topic I wanted as it was a GLOBAL class. So, me being the creep I am was dying to do the Kennedy Assassination. Okay, so I write this down on a piece of paper like I was instructed by my friend. I walk up to my teacher and hand him the paper and he draws a huge line over my entire paper (not just the part where I wrote "Kennedy Assassination") and told me that I couldn't do something from the United States and apparently he told us this numerous times...Anyway so, of course my next choice is Marie Antoinette and something about how she and Louis XVI are blamed for the downfall of the French Monarchy. Whatever, love her. So I think the point of this story is that we had to give these presentations, and being the superb teacher candidate that I was at the time, I decided to throw together a PowerPoint at the last minute. God, I was so prepared for Student Teaching. Anyway, being obsessed with the movie, I used about 600 pictures from the movie in my slide show. My friend Mike likes to say that my presentation basically went like this "Marie Antoinette was the Queen of's a picture from the movie". And that's basically how it went. And then it stopped going. I was standing there and I was the last person to present (the legit last person in the entire 60 person class) and it was about 8:55 and class was over at 8:40, and I just saw everyone not caring and packing up and waiting to leave and I blanked. I have never in my life blanked before. I've been nervous, but never completely blank. I was talking about her finance adviser and then I couldn't remember his name for the life of me. FOR THE LIFE OF ME. I think I stood in silence for at least 45 seconds of my 1 minute and 30 second presentation that was supposed to last 10 minutes. And then I just gave up. And it ended there. I got an B+ in the class so I'm not going to complain.

p.s. remember how I said that we had to do something that didn't take place in the United States? Well, we're watching presentations and this girl does a presentation on the North American Buffalo. THE. NORTH. AMERICAN. BUFFALO. Let me remind you that we are seniors at a semi-prestigious university. Also, let me remind you that the United States make up a large chunk of North America. Also, let's note that she did a presentation that a 1st grader would have done a better job on. And the fact that North American Buffalo live in American and so does John F. Kennedy. Last time I checked the assassination of our 35th president is a little more college level than some hairy cows out in South Dakota.
Just Sayin'

and P.P.S if I didn't want you to think that I thought that Marie Antoinette actually said "Let them eat cake" then I would probably have quoted it at the end of this blog to show my nonchalant attitude towards this injustice. But, alas, she didn't actually say that so it wouldn't be fitting.

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