Tuesday, July 12, 2011

if i am the joke, then you're the punchline pt. 3

Some lady told me that I had cute hair today. I think it actually looks pretty terrible myself. I'm starting to catch on to this lady's act though. I have recently become a "regular" at China Bistro on Route 8. Literally the buffet is $3.99. $4.28 with tax, if we're getting specific. Anyway, you walk in to the restaurant and this tiny Chinese lady walks out of the back and she goes "Hi! How are you?" but she says it like we're old friends and she makes you feel all warm and nice. Then she asks how you've been and all that jazz. Then she asks, in a completely non-judgmental way, if you just have one. I always respond that in fact it is just me. Then she says "you want water, right". No, woman. While the food is delicious, your water tastes like someone pooped in it, but I will take the buffet. I brought my own drink today. Then every five minutes she walks over and asks if you're doing okay. Somehow this isn't annoying. Probably because she's so nice. The three other loners in China Bistro make me feel better because at least I'm texting people and while I'm not 300 pounds overweight like 90% of the customers, I am still fat. But they make me feel better about myself.
Then she always brings me the check after my second plate. I never know if she does this to kick me out like "little girl, you shouldn't be eating all of this Chinese food" or is she just wants me out of the restaurant. Then I go pay and she always compliments me. Today it was my hair. Last time it was my purse. She said she was going to buy her daughter one.

The best part though, you're never going to believe it, I actually got a fortune. You know how you always get a cookie with what I like to call "words of wisdom" in it when you expect a fortune. You think you'll get something like "You will win the lottery" and you get "May the force be with you", always disappointing. But today I got:

Right now you need to be patient

And I feel like that is the best fortune I will ever receive. Or the only one that is close to actually being a real fortune.

1 comment:

  1. that picture it just too much, too much